I received a comment today that I wanted to respond to:
No offense… but I read your blog for your cuckqueaning stories and personal experiences. I know I wouldn’t be regularly reading it if I didn’t already know quite a bit about the stuff you post on “teaching tuedays” (seeing as I am involved with the scene), and I suspect it’s much the same with the rest of your readership. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t post it at all but the fact that it’s all you write about now is kind of disappointing.
There is a huge misconception that BDSM is 100% 24/7. While we consider our marriage 24/7 TPE it doesn’t always work out that way. There are days when we fight like every other married couple. There are days where neither of us are in the mood. There are days where we’re so exhausted from the week we just want to sleep. Like I mentioned in my TT post about Edge Play at the end – K brought me to orgasm early. It was delightful, it was erotic, it was heavenly and explosive – but what happens post orgasm, without fail – happened again. I lose all desire to submit. In fact, I suddenly feel extremely dominant after I orgasm. K and I both identify as switches, but we have found that it works better in our marriage if we have a traditional Dom/sub relationship. That creates a large part of the problem for me.Once I have orgasmed I get angry with myself for liking the things I like, and I try to take over. I try to force K to submit to me so I feel some sense of balance. I used to meet that need when we dated sub girls, but we havent in quite some time. I’m a sadist (when it comes to women) and I relish in taking a cane to a bare bottom, dancing a single tail across bare breasts, kissing away tears…oh boy, that’s another post though. Anyhow – when I try to force K to submit to me it doesn’t work. It never happens. Thus, we fight and we’re both miserable. I know I’m being stupid. I know it won’t work. I know I should stop. I know all of these things, but I can’t bring myself to get out of that funk. That “ice princess, total bitch, dominant woman” feeling stays for a solid two weeks. So – here we are two weeks later, post O, and just last night I felt “okay” enough to curl up in K’s lap and let myself feel little. This is something I seriously struggle with. I can’t quite put my finger on why it’s so difficult for me to submit post orgasm, but I’m working on it.
As far as my readership, I (surprisingly enough) have a lot of vanilla subscribers that email me asking lifestyle questions, terminology questions, BDSM questions, etc. That is where Teaching Tuesday started. I personally feel like there is so much misinformation in the lifestyle (hence why it gets such a bad rap) that I have no problem taking the time to help as best I can.
I am also a wife, an employee with pressing deadlines, an active Aunt, a house hunter, a best friend, a sister, a daughter, etc. Considering my blog is non-fiction kink based I leave those aspects of my life out. I’ve contemplated writing about them here, but I have a different 100% vanilla blog in a different world for that. But, since we’re now talking about that – K recently started a new job with huge opportunities and a wonderful growth in his career, I’m under 18 million deadlines at work and we’re in the process of house hunting. Our weekends have been filled with life: paying bills, looking at houses, youth football games, family dinners and our friends.
And since this blog is my kink/cuckqueaning side of my life – it’s hard to write about those things when they aren’t actively occurring – which kind of leaves me with Teaching Tuesday. Life and me being an Ice Princess has gotten in the way of kink, and while we’d rather spend our lives 100% invested in kink and our dirty minds, unfortunately, we can’t. We aren’t currently seeing anyone and there really isn’t anyone on the horizon either. It’s not for a lack of trying or thought, but nothing has really caught my eye lately. We’d love to find a switch to date. Someone that can meet all of our needs, but those seem few and far between. Though what a fun and wild ride it’d be.
It’s been difficult to be a cuckquean poly wife that switches. None of those things go together, but I’m trying to figure it out with an amazing Husband by my side.
So, with all of that being said, I hope it explains a little about where I’m at. I do actually have a couple of drafts in the works, but my writing hasn’t been very fruitful lately.